Browsing All Posts filed under »Footsteps (Personal Journal and Reflections)«

Breadcrumbs from the Night Journey: The Taste of Darkness

May 3, 2016


بسم الله “When God wants to humiliate a servant, He conceals from him his faults, and when He wants His servant to triumph, He shows him his faults in order he may repent and relent.” Where do I begin? There is so much to say. It has been 3 years, but I’d love to start […]

The Taste of Light

October 22, 2013


  Have you ever tasted 1,000 tahlils? What about 5,000 istighfars? What about several hundred salawats on the Nabi (saws)? What about the taste of a surat you never thought you’d read in Arabic? Because it was too big? Too long? Too overpowering? This year, I tasted these things for the first time. I tasted […]

Post Retreat: The Secret of Joy and Rest (Part II)

September 7, 2013


Exactly one day after the retreat ended, on Tuesday, August 20th, 2013, I received this message from Anse Tamara Gray in a private group chat that I wanted to share with you: “The word joy is one of my favorite words.  We can use it to say things like, “She cried tears of joy.” Or […]

Principles of Reviving Remembrance

September 6, 2013


Always, Beginning in the Name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful This post is dedicated to my dear husband, Hassan, who missed virtually every class of the retreat in order to give others the gift of knowledge, including myself and other volunteers. Without his vision for the retreat and undying khidma, there would […]

Thursday: Encounters of the Fourth Dimensional Kind

August 29, 2013


“Whittni”, she said. A voice was coming from within my room, but everyone was asleep. It’s Thursday morning in the wee hours of fajr. My body ceased. I felt squeezed. I didn’t know what to do. I just looked. Hesitated. Waited. Didn’t move. Just looked in the direction of the sound. There was no one […]

Wednesday: The Secret of Joy and Rest (Part 1)

August 28, 2013


On Friday, a lesson hit home for me in secrets, but on Wednesday, the teaching began. The secrets kept being repeated by the shuyukh in different classes, even when they weren’t in contact with one another. But my first teacher was my husband…my knight in shining armor that rescued me on Wednesday. But let’s allow […]

The Required Grace of Khidma

August 27, 2013


This Sunday marked two weeks since I left my residence in Oxon Hill, Maryland to travel to a place I only visited once in order to work in complete servitude to 250+ guests. Hesitantly. And this Monday marked exactly one week since I left that week-long residence. Bittersweet and relieved, yet longing. I imagine that inshAllah […]