Weekly Tip #4: Bee a Relationship Expert

These Weekly Tips are a reflective elaboration from my speech at the 2016 Muslim Women’s Literary Conference: “Just Let Me Bee: Finding Your Creative Niche”

Always, Beginning in the Name of The Creator, The Original

It has been exactly one week since my boat was rocked here in this dunya. If I told you everything that has happened in the past 7 days, you probably wouldn’t believe me. It’s ok, you don’t have to believe me. I know I was overdue for some tests from my Lord…and He is always on time. I feel as though I was in a slumber…and am now awakened. My eyes are open now….I learned some deep gratitude. I will write another post that hinges more on the lessons learned recently, but subhanAllah, the tip of the week also speaks to my previous week from last Wednesday to this one. It’s gonna be a little rough, but try to follow me–I’m still shaken. The following is what W.B.Abdullah of 2016 has to say to W.B.Abdullah of 2017:

The bee is an expert of relationships. She doesn’t take without giving back and she gives back more than she actually takes by giving the flower the gift of life through reproduction. She helps flowers achieve their purpose. She gives the flower new life. Her honey gives us health and something sweet to enjoy.

As women, we seem to naturally fill the caretaker role. We get sandwiched into many different roles no matter our age. The sister, the mother, the maid, the grandmother, the wife, the daughter, the support in some way or another. We have a choice in how we deal with what we are dealt in life. We can either accept it and use it as an opportunity for growth and get so much barakah from it, or we can run from it, shame it, and shame ourselves. Try to find the good in the ugly and difficult.

On sandwiches…people are meant to be in communities. There are times for isolation and times for socialization, but in general, we human beings are an interdependent species. We need each other. But in this day and age, we often are isolated given the ease of technology and the facade of self-sufficiency that it induces. Bottom line: people need people. All different kinds of people–young, old, sick, healthy…seeing different people and learning from their experiences helps us reframe our world in order to better adapt and survive. Having older folks around has it perks. They have experience, and are often wiser from it. As for youth, though they are needy and dependent, they are eager, and not jaded by the dunya. So they have ambition and drive and are willing to learn and do new things! We need both young and old, sick and healthy to have balance. We need to see contrasts to learn to center.

Family are the people you can’t really get rid of…I think it’s funny sometimes the family members we are given, but we must deal with them in the best of ways because in relationships with them, we learn, we grow, and we become better people inshAllah.  I know our responsibilities sometimes seem like a toll or being asked a lot. But Allah wouldn’t give it to us if we couldn’t handle it. And as I learned from a dear friend last year, sometimes in order to handle what we are given, we simply must enact change. Sometimes we have to do things differently in order to handle the burden that has been placed upon our shoulders. Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is a definition of insanity, no? But as Peter Parker’s uncle says, “With great power, comes great responsibility.” To whom much is given, much is expected. Allah doesn’t change the condition of a people until they change what is within themselves. Nothing will change unless you change. Things will always be the same unless you get the ball rolling. And once it rolls, there is no stopping it…until you stop.

A sign from my calendar pages last week…Allah’s signs are everywhere and in everything.